Friday, December 31, 2010

New Years Resolutions

I, Tommy Akulukjuk, of Nunavut, Canada

I, Tommy, have made the following resolutions, but not promises:

to support the Liberal Party
the conservative party
the New Democratic Party,
the green party
the Marijuana Party
the parti bloc quebecois
the Rhinoceros Party

because i expect they'll have free drinks
maybe even marijuana
be democratic about partying
be "bloc"king roads
wear the colour green
conserve energy
liberally pass out free drinks again
and i expect animals from all of them, especially
african born - horned animals

i, tommy, have renounced
identity
territory
country
county
community
neighbourhood
society
civilizations

and vow to be extra
barbaric
rude
rage more wars
gain more profits
combine socialism
with capitalism
murder innocent little cute animals

such as baby seals
kill my first polar bear
contribute to global warming
by burning more fossil
bathe in tar
have gasoline as my cologne

i will be the poster child for
climate change
i will be in an advertisement for
nunavut Tunngavik
where they promise to take care
of poor Inuit

i will appear on TV in the new year
as a newscaster
will make fun of politicians
make fake advertisements that advocate country food
will pretend to be peter mansbridge

will try to drink more beer
and disappoint even more so
my sister
my parents
and all those righteous
religious inuit
who try to create a perfect
docile inuit society

i will burn my poems
a whole notebook
a whole book that i really like
and use it to warm myself

i will vote and then tear my vote away
i will cry when an inuit politician
accomplishes something for once
i will carve a statue of
brian mulroney for signing the land claim
i will tear a picture of paul quassa for signing the land claim

i will sabotage
inuit employment levels
inuit employment targets
i will
become the qallnaat development coordinator

i will become the wage reduction coordinator for GN

i will kill baby seals and not eat them

i will
i will
i will
i will

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