Monday, May 30, 2011

The Revolution Will... You Know... Not Have... Legs On Dinner Tables

You will not be able to stay home, brother.
You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
You will not be able to lose yourself on skag
and Skip out for beer during commercials,
Because the revolution will not be televised.
- Gil Scott-Heron - first line of the poem "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised."

- the last line of the poem:

The revolution will not be televised, will not be televised,
will not be televised, will not be televised.
The revolution will be no re-run brothers;
The revolution will be live.

I'll give you a scary thought, well, it is scary to me:

Imagine people actually follow this blog and actually look forward to a new post. A person, maybe from Russia, Korea, Iraq, France, Germany or even from Nunavut it self, which this blog have received views from, actually read and save a copy of what I've written.

I know.. I know... its ridiculous to think such a thing.... but if you are that such person, i have news for you. I have a place to call my own. A place i pay money for, which houses my body and soul and consumes all my excretions and supplies H20 for myself. And Heat. Electricity. And End tables.

Since Thursday May 26, 2011, my favourite number has been changed to: Eight Hundred and Thirty Two. Also my new favourite letter is: B. Which combined to mathematical precision create my house number. 832B. There has to be a biblical, or Egyptian or maybe even philosophical importance to the number. I have absolutely nothing to complain about the place. Nothing. Even if it were not furnished and bare. I'd still be thankful. And never in the history of my 29 years on this planet, I have never been this thankful to a government... until now. Thank You. Umm, Nu...Naa...Vut... (sighs) got that over with, now back to the good news.

Because I am not very good at picking out curtains, I have unmatched coloured curtains, which i decided upon after 20 minutes of consideration, which was mostly to being traumatized by the prices of simple and flimsy curtains. I bet its not very hard to use the sewing machine and make curtains, but these were probably made by an honest Ontarian, who works at a friendly factory that pays just above minimum wage instead of a Filipino child in a sweatshop, which i think explains, the cost of the curtains. And that Nutrition North, unfortunately, doesn't cover black and brown curtains.

(I hope you have a great sense of humour)

The cable was installed in record time. If there is a super cable man, this guy was it. almost the very same hour. As if a silhouette of a TV was projected above 832B and the cable man sprang to his uniform and tadaa... I came home to cable TV.

If you are from the south and are reading this from the south, your jaw is going to drop in 1 second, soon after you read this: I pay over a hundred dollars for a 5Gb bandwidth limit per month. But also, I am very thankful for this, and so should you, that I get to write and post on this blog.

I also have a great view. If this community were greatly developed and we had millionnaires and had luxurious hotels, the view I have would be a million dollar view. But currently, it is a thousand dollar view because that is what I pay for this privilege.

Which brings me to the end. The place that I rent has furniture part of the package. I had to assemble a few things and one of them was a dining table, complete with chairs. You can also adjust the size of the table to a round one, which would be great for a poker night, I thought. I opened it and lo and behold, no legs. It is one big leg, right in the middle. It looks beautiful in the picture and I was looking forward to eating on it. But I am not even upset. I'll gladly wait for it.

If Mr Scott-Heron's first line of his poem is true, I hope they hold it off for at least six months, the revolution that is. I want to settle a little bit, get my couch groove on and maybe pay and help reduce the 200 million dollars housing corporations deficit. I'll gladly pay for that right now, in exchange for this place.

I'll be part of the revolution but let me revolutionize this house to my comfort first. And before television goes, let's think of the efficient super hero cable man, who will televise anything except the revolution. He has a job to do.

Let this be written in the annals of history.

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