Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Radio #5 on Inuit

Radio #5 was born in 1975. His first name is Radio and his middle name is # and his surname is 5. His parents were of the traditional stock of the Eskimo race before they converted to Inuit in the 1980's. Before conversion, they hunted animals and used the skins for clothing. They spoke only Eskimo and later on Inuktitut. Radio grew up in this environment, hunting and foraging, until his father was told to get a life and demanded that he start paying for other Canadians well-being. So he got a life, started paying taxes and gave up his Eskimoness in favour for Inuit.

Inuit are a recent come-along to humanity. It is a new word that people started imposing on Eskimos, because they didn't know any better to be called something else. Inuit started introducing snowmobiles and outboard motors to Eskimos. Eskimos gave up their dog teams and also started wearing traditional Inuit clothing, such as bell-bottom pants and started having their hair glossed over with a cream.

Back in the 1970's when Eskimos started converting to Inuit - the Inuit also realized that they'll need some sort of government and self government was seen the way to go towards. So they proselytized about the evils of Trudeau-ism, because they said Inuit should be like Canadians as well, looks and all. Inuit didn't like this, so they said, we want in, but let us in - in our own kamiks and boots. They said the black shoes were too uncomfortable. And they demanded and shouted, sometimes even going on TV to say a few words to Trudeau and his little monkey Chretien.

So Radio grew up around where the world was changing all the time, not just his Inuit world, but everyone Else's. People often make this mistake, thinking that Inuit went through huge changes, but that is a conspiracy because in the 60's, 70's and not so much 80's, everyone's world was changing all the time. New channels on TV, new radio shows, Montreal Canadiens were changing the game of hockey, while Toronto Maple Leafs hardly made a dent. The fax machine was making things so fast. The telephone had buttons on it rather than a dial. And so much more. the world changed, not only Inuit.

When Radio was 5 years old, he was exposed to a radio at his community and vowed that he would be the one announcing everything to everyone. He became a radio DJ. He did good.

In 1980's, these things happened, that the world has regretted ever since:

* Brian Mulroney
* The Artist Formerly Known As Prince
* Ronald Reagan
* Union Carbide
* Margaret Thatcher didn't die (same for Reagan)
* Bob Marley and John Lennon were killed (so sad)
* Bon Jovi
* Molly Ringwald
* the TV show Dallas

and so many more that my hands are getting tired!

These events are true, if you don't believe me, you can ask Jean Chretien, or Duran Duran, who were very political. They are all true! I never lie, otherwise I'll never make it to heaven!

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